Too much free time in Perth

Here are some random thoughts from our intrepid reporter at the Perth Test.  It starts off with a link with a 750 year old tree,  we hear some familiar tales from a Middlesex viewpoint and some further quirky observations. The only thing missing is no reports of beer for breakfast. Regardless,  this is a compulsive read that cheered me up on a miserable Monday night.     Read on..

There is much to see and do in Perth –there is a 750 year old tree in the middle of Kings Park, there are bells gifted to the City of Perth by St Martins in the Fields, there are buildings of all shapes and sizes and many skyscrapers. There are many cafes to pass a lazy summer Sunday morning. Why do you want to know all that?

Because cafes are good to go, and parks nice to stroll round when a Test match finishes well before its time and you need somewhere to sit and ponder why England suddenly became the England of old and Australia have suddenly become the favourites in the series – well according to the media out here they have. And 750 year old trees do give you a sense of perspective.

Now I am sure you all stayed up all night glued to this match and I am sure you have all heard and seen everything the pundits have said so you don’t need a blow by blow account, so here are a few random Leprechauny thoughts about the last three days (and a very little bit).

The margins in cricket are very small; in Adelaide everything England did seemed to turn to gold: from that run out in the first over to outstanding catching. Here there were half chances that would have been spectacular catches, there were run out chances missing by centimetres, there were snicks and edges that just did not go to hand when Australia batted and did when we batted (sound familiar from a Middlesex perspective?)

Cricket is a team game but individuals can almost swing it by themselves. Mitchell Johnson’s batting got Australia’s lower order to fire 50 or so precious runs which gave them a healthy lead, and then he really found his mojo when he bowled, especially in the first innings. Suddenly he bowled like he was the recent best in the world.

A five day match can be won and lost in just a few minutes. We were looking decent batting wise at 82/0 in the first innings.

Strauss looking pensive

Half an hour later it was 91-4 and the match was doomed. Australia did to us what we did to them in Adelaide and never let up from that moment.

Any of that sound familiar from a Middlesex perspective?

The Aussie press and supporters are worse than ours for trashing their team and selectors one minute and making them world beaters the next. One minute selecting Philip Hughes was the single reason Australia will lose the Ashes, the next making Johnson spend time with the bowling coach – Troy Colley; remember him? – was the single reason Australia will win the Ashes. We would never overreact like that would we? Especially Middlesex supporters.

Chris Tremlett makes Steven Finn look normal height; when they bat together they are over 13 feet tall – they could be a double decker bus. (I did warn you these were random thoughts!)

The lower deck bowling

Food and drink at cricket grounds is the same the world over; trashy and overpriced. But in Australia you will be grateful for the free sunscreen dispensers and water fountains – (apologies for reminding you that while you have inches of snow it is 30 degrees here in Perth)

Plastic chair back and corrugated iron steps make for a lot of noise when Australian supporters finally get behind their team – and these were corporate guests urging Johnson on. Imagine people in the Lord’s boxes urging on England by banging on the chairs and railings!!

People do very odd things at cricket grounds: it is 30 degrees in high summer in Australia and Father Christmases turn up in inflatable costumes – Michelin Men in Santa costumes. Sadly for them they arrived ten minutes before England finally surrendered and were last seen somewhere along Perth’s main shopping street.

Some security people at cricket grounds must have very strange thought patterns. They tried to confiscate someone’s spray sunscreen because it  might be a hazard, and a seat cushion on the grounds it was a chair! They won on the sunscreen but finally agreed that a cushion needs legs to become a chair.

If you think cricket in England is commercialised how about every boundary being celebrated by a well known burger chain, (they’re loving it) and every personal or team landmark becoming a special whisky moment – keep Walking as they say. I am sure you can work out which ones.

Wherever you are in the cricketing world you can meet a Middlesex member and end up having a conversation about why we should or should not re sign Jamie Dalmryple. You will also meet Kent members who will say that all their ex players including Neil Dexter do better when they leave their County. Heard that one before?

And for real cricketing perspective how about the TV showing South Africa v India – the best two countries in the world and Sachin Tendulkar just getting his 50^th Test hundred.  And a fantastic electrical storm in Centurion Park, just to complete the  world wide weather cycle.

Now should I go to Fremantle tomorrow or the beach?

Weather has gone mad -

It should have been the fifth day today; now if we had only lasted a bit longer. OK quite a bit longer. . .  It rained here all morning, and has been very windy all afternoon;  what might have been?

And there has been snow in Tasmania today, major floods in the northern part of the state so definitely no beach. So some more random thoughts from a day of mooching round Perth and Fremantle.

It’s a pity that the Perth Mint is in the next road up from Murray Street; (think about it!);

Fremantle really is very windy;

There are some British people in Perth who did not even know about the cricket;

Graham Swann may have had a river in Perth named after him here but Mitchell (Johnson) has a freeway named after him – very appropriate really as boats go slowly and cars go quickly;

There are no swans on the Swan river;

And finally for today. wherever you go in the world:

There is always a queue in the post office;

There are always road works right in the middle of the busiest street in the City;

There will always be a puddle right where you want to cross the road;

TV is just as naff - we have the pleasure of Top Gear, Deal or No Deal, Neighbours, and a Midsommer murder which I have seen – of course.

Now tomorrow should be good – a tour of the Swan Valley wineries; you may hear about that at some point!