The Nash Bash Part One

Before lunch?
By Barmy Kev
January 27 2007

Part One of Barmy Kev's report on his day playing cricket with the stars. He meets Knocker Nash (of course), Ben Scott and his voodoo doll of Kev, Alvin Kallicharran and many many more people. Stay tuned for Part Two and discover whether Kev hits 6 off the last ball to win or not.

Barmy Kev at Sixes and Sevens for the Benefit of Knocker
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This was a day of apprehension, tension, meeting players past, present and future, and most of all supporting a good cause.


Build Up
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Monday, Nashie texts me asking me to form a team for his benefit “Super Six” event day taking place this Thursday. He has a year to plan his benefit and who he requires for his events, so given the short notice, I guessed I was a last resort. He mentioned Alvin Kallicharran, Ace and other top players would be participating. I was keen to play and this was a scheduled day off from my police duties.

However, I had no success through my MTWD and other contacts for finding another 5, so I gave up on the idea. Then Nashie rang me, Wednesday, saying they are one short for his “Knocker Select Team” (yes I know he was even more desperate for numbers) but, with nothing else better to do that day I agreed to turn up.

Was I a desperate measure?
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On Meeting my teammates, I discovered I was actually in a squad of 7. Our captain told me that I was picked for the first game. Everyone else, was fully kitted out, so my next challenge was finding a pair of white trousers; fortunately I had Middx white jumper and shirt on me. Someone who was 6ft + did have a spare pair of white trousers lying around and to look professional, I decided to wear them, despite the fact they were dangling over the soles of trainers.

Anyway, I was picked against a well-groomed team with Ace in their side. We had in our side, our promising young keeper Joel Pope and Andy Pointer, an Ireland under 19 international, both who are now part of the MCC academy.

It was a six a side , six over match, with each player bowling one over. I said and was agreed, that I would bat at 6 and bowl at 5. How it worked out our team managed 48-3,from the allocated 6 overs - I didn’t bat. They got their target, from 4 overs - I didn’t bowl. My contribution was Ace calling a dodgy single, unlike him, I had a shy at stumps to run backer up out, I missed but gave our protégé behind the stumps quality practise in taking wild throws. In years to come he will be grateful, I’m sure.

Whilst, this may have seemed like a meaningless game, I was impressed that Ace was concentrating throughout as if his life depended on it, with total respect for opposition. Then again he didn’t face my bowling.


Beam him or me up. Scotty.
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Ben Scott was one of Knocker’s invited pros. I took time out to talk to him, with promising keeper Joel Pope, his nephew, in the background:
* He is still very confident about his batting ability. He batted well at Sorry and got a good ton at Middx first season back.
* He felt under pressure here last season , coming in at 7, with a bad score on board, but felt was made a scapegoat when he failed.
* He said, for example, when he opened at Notts to replace sick Ben Hutton, we were 8-3 and he hadn’t faced a ball at this point. How can he be blamed for his failure, under these circumstances. Middx players were banned from watching the England World Cup game ( all out for a single figure score)
* He was most impressed with Graham Onions bowling last season
* When missing out on 1st team games he keeps fit, exercising at gym. When Knocker’s fragility sets in, he will be up for job.
* He stated (tongue firmly in his cheek) that he has a Voodoo doll of me, due to my comments on the MTWD website. He does not read web site anymore, but is aware of infamous arguments on MTWD last year.

Liquid Lunch
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As part of the squad rotation policy, I was dropped for 2nd game, which our team lost easily . The bar was open and there was free wine being served , so I felt it would be rude to turn this down. The Chicken lunch was fine, although could have been enhanced with gravy. The after meal entertainment was hilarious. Some of the jokes were very crude. But the best one that can be repeated was:
“Given current form, England are going to revise batting order and move extras up the order.”

To be continued very, very soon.