Middlesex Stuffed Like a Pigeon
But Malan Batted Well
By Beefy Roberts
August 15 2009
Beefy Roberts gives us chapter and verse on a day in which Middlesex saved the game with the bat, but then set a target and lost the game in the process. Learn all about Malan's pigeon, who was being followed by the crowd long after his near demise at the hands of Dawid's square cut. Many thanks, Beefy.
I decided to head to HQ for the last day hoping that our unbeaten run in the county championship would continue, only to buy the morning paper on my way to the station and saw our 2nd innings score, oh well, we can still post a good score, put them in and bowl them out i thought.
Also, on seeing on the official website that Nashy tea dance retirement tickets were on sale, I’d best get in quick to get one, not wanting to miss out on the legends last day.
I was thinking it would be good to see the ' England ashes stars' playing before the last test and how well there are playing, with Ace supported by Finn he could get some runs and show the ' ashes stars' how to do it.
The above was all written on the train going to HQ.
Start of the days play, the faithful congregate in the Edrich Upper and Mound stand and Essex start with Kaneria from nursery end and Masters from the Pavilion. Middx get the 50 up, and the scoreboard shows the fact, with the Essex badge next to the score, well done the operator!
Finn was nearly run out. Ii was chatting to my mate and nearly missed Finn nearly getting run out at the pavilion end, it’s 51-3 and slow going, and Finn wakes us all up with a fine square leg shot for 4, batting for the draw i say, bit quick to think that as Ace goes for 10 LBW Masters, mutterings of 'oh dear' and 'didn’t need that' was heard.
Malan comes to the crease and soon Finn is caught by Walker off Kaneria for 9,in comes Scotty before the Iceman ,questions of is iceman injured as he slips down the order, my mate saying this doesn't bode well with how we are batting, its 59-5 only a lead of 70.
Soon a discussion is started about are we going for a clean sweep this season of finishing bottom of all the tournaments we play this year, only for someone to ruin the idea by mentioning our success in the FPT by winning a handful of games, oh well........next season then!
Sarcastic applause by some as Scott gets of the mark with a lovely off drive for 4,'Always rated you' is said, and a comment that Scotty is a run machine as he hits another 4 'world class' is heard as well. A skier from Scotty and Pettini misses a difficult catch over his shoulder, the cheers from the faithful.
Middle reaches the next milestone,102 runs up, shown on the scoreboard, this time with the correct badge showing, getting it right at last. 50 partnership up with Scott and Malan off 73 balls in 47 minutes, Scott now being called 'superbat'
A huge appeal from Masters for a caught behind against Malan, he was the only one to appeal and it was nowhere near an edge, but he’s got to try I suppose.
Malan reaches 50 and the Middle are 131-5 at lunch, with a lead of 142 and the declaration was mentioned in the crowd, but the figure not really said.
A lunchtime perambulation is taken, with 4 of us walking across the pitch towards the pavilion, not an invasion but to play catch! Was a bit of fun and then a true Middx legend is seen walking across the pitch, was he hoping to get a game of catch? It was Clive Radley and looking very well too. It was superb to see him.
1st over after lunch with Bopara bowling from the nursery end, I mention he is a great England batsmen in the making, but bowling I don't think so, looking around and there are a few Eseex fans about, and we start a bit of banter with 3 guys at the back of the Edrich Upper, bit of fun during a stale bit of the game.
Scott is out for 44,LBW Kaneria, a good innings from 'superbat' its 157-6 a lead of 168. Malan hits a lovely shot to square leg, unfortunately one of the pigeons that was having a quick snack gets hit by the ball and the umpire picks the poor thing up and hands it to the fielder who gently places it behind the boundary rope in front of the grandstand. Thankfully the pigeon is moving and seems ok, 'we need a vet’ is the call, “We got two in Richo and Silvers” is the reply, then a comment of “that pigeon has got as much life in it as Bopara’s test career”.
Iceman is looking good as the Middle reach 184-6, the announcer, who is improving with every hour that goes by, mentions that Bopara is bowling from the Nursery end and up steps Kaneria. ,'You don't know what you’re doing' after the first ball the correction is made and apologises for the error to cheers from the faithful.
Middx reach the 200, it’s 201-6 a lead of 212 Cook is bowling from the nursery end and the words of a top class all rounder are mentioned, Berg is then out stumped by Foster off Cook for 29 and at 205-7 Essex decide to use there 8th bowler of the innings, word is mentioned that the wicketkeeper is next to bowl and then from the crowd row/seat number to bowl.
Pigeon update,it has started to move a bit more and has started to move its head,and then we start to discuss what could happen to said pigeon maybe end up on the menu in the pavilion,get stuffed and put in the museum, or could end up in the pie my mate was seating that was a fair price for £4.90.
Suddenly the pigeon was seen staggering about(drunk?) and wandered into the grandstand as a tour is taking place, was it trying to get on the tour to escape another ball? The pigeon wasn't seen again.
Then, it happened, we declare on 229-7,with Pettini one ball left of his over, the worst 5 balls I have seen bowled! Declaration gives us a lead of 240,with 46 overs left.
With 5 overs gone they are 36-0,Cook looking like his form that went missing at the last test is coming back, Finn from the pavilion a noise from Pettini is heard, and an appeal for a caught behind by Superbat is ignored by the umpire. With 10 overs gone it is 55 without loss and that was tea.
186 needed to win and quotable by Essex, we were told that Kent and Derbyshire have both won, so that dents our promotion hopes a bit. 16 overs gone and they are on 78-0 with Cook getting to 50 off 66 balls. 21 overs and its 100 up, and then Pettini goes. It didn’t look out caught by Superbat but its still a wicket towards an unlikely win.
Next in is Bopara and Cook is on 65, some suicidal pigeons take their chances to have a snack on another wicket, but fortunately no more are injured.
Cook out for 66,bowled by Kartik, at one stage a draw was on the cards, but that was slipping away, and our unbeaten run looks to be coming to an end.
From the 3 Essex fans, they shout out 'come on Essex, go for the win' we reply with ' same old essex, always drawing'. Then, its 136-3 with a lovely forward diving catch from Compo in front of the mound stand.
Then comes the statement of the day, my mate saying at 17.40 that we have a game of cricket. Well observed but how did it take all that time to realise it? (Too many pils I think!)
As I decide it was time for a tactical move to the gents, i miss the huge six that finished in the Edrich upper, 8 rows back, that's typical. [Deserting your post during play? You’re fired – ed]
The pigeons have finished their snack and have disappeared, along with any chance of our draw. A lousy declaration has given Essex their win. We do actually hit the stumps twice today, but in vain as neither was out.
As leaving HQ there are lots of very unhappy people regarding the declaration, and questions being asked.
Just one last thing, I went to my local pub after the game, and was talking about the day, when a guy said he was watching the sports news programme earlier and saw we had declared, he said to me that he got the impression that it was done for the England players so they could get some batting practice, that from someone who wasn't even at then game today, makes you think.......................
Oh well, it’s of the Cardiff and Swansea next week for more entertainment. [A game of cricket or two, perhaps? Where are we going to find reporters for 5 days in Wales? You’re rehired – ed]
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009:08:18:08:16:41 by Ged.
All it needed was Dastardly and Muttley there shouting " Catch that Pigeon" - which would have been highly likely unless in Ace's direction.
Barmy Kev
I'm only here for the tele
Mind you boyyo , they don't charge the Welsh to get out , rather unfair thinks me !
Travelling down tommorow and spending some time with some Welsh mates ,what state I will be in by Wednesday evening who knows !!
If I have offended any pigeon lovers then may I cheer you up by informing you that pigeons are far from an endangered specials and can be found in most streets and gardens.
Personally, pigeons are not my favourite type of bird and I do not think they are beautiful. Although I am not an expert on birds, I know robins and magpies are beautiful. And on a Cardiff theme, bluebirds look nice.
Barmy Kev
I'm only here for the tele
Most train operating companies (TOCs) have an online booking facility which all tend to offer the same facilities and quality of service (for example, it is possible to order a ticket between Plymouth and Exeter through Scotrail's website and between Glasgow and Edinburgh though South West Train's website) and all charge the same for each journey (if a journey costs £11.60 on Northern Rail's website then it will cost £11.60 on Chiltern Railway's website). However, where the sites differ is that some accept Maestro cards and some don't, while more importantly some charge for first-class post and some don't charge, some charge for sending the tickets to a self-service ticket machine and some don't and some charge a booking fee and some don't. If you come across a site that charges for these things then I suggest you try another site.
Also, when ordering tickets the site never asks if you already hold a ticket for part of a journey. So for example, if you are traveling from Paddington to somewhere outside London like R*****g (you will find out in a minute why I am unwilling to spell the word), Bristol or Cardiff then you will not be asked if you hold a zone 1-4 ticket (which covers Paddington-Southall), 1-6 ticket/Freedom Pass (which covers Paddington-West Drayton) or 2-6 ticket (which covers Acton Main Line-West Drayton). If you do hold such tickets and you book a train ticket from Paddington to Cardiff then you are paying twice for a certain part of your journey. I am lucky enough to possess an all zones ticket and plan to travel to R*****g primarily to hurl abuse at Brendan Rodgers but also to watch a relegation battle involving Watford (the Royals are currently 23rd while the Hornets are only one place better). If I booked an adult Off-peak Day Single ticket with a student rail card for 26th September starting from Paddington then the ticket would cost £9.85, but if I started the ticket from West Drayton (as I am perfectly entitled to do due to my possession of an all zones ticket) then the price is reduced to £6.15, a 38% saving.
Disclaimer: Jonathan Winsky does not condone any sort of football-related violence whether verbal or physical and does not plan to join in with any chants containing foul language. Prices are taken on 17th August 2009 and may rise or - if you are really lucky - fall over the following weeks. Jonathan Winsky has not yet purchased a student rail card. Jonathan Winsky has not yet purchased train tickets as Watford FC have not started selling match tickets yet.
In defence of train booking sites , the one I use (Trainline) is easy to use , offers alternative times fares etc and delivers your tickets next day by post .
Other Train booking companies are avaliable as JW says .
Personally I have an Oyster card (haven't they changed the name on this lately to something else ?) but for the life of me didn't think to use it when booking my travel , pennies in it really when the fare is so low anyway .
King Cricket on Seagull Incident
I wonder whether the two incidents are linked?