Sod Off

Diamond reports on another frustrating day for Middx that started for our reporter at 3am. He was consoled by following a Michelle by Hi Fi elsewhere, but meanwhile Northants continued to dominate and our ASBO did his bit to remove a chunk from the pitch and earn a new nickname. A poignant ending to report puts everything into perspective.

Operation Promotion Rear guard Commences.

A late night last night due to a day at Lord’s turning into an evening out as well, the heat of the night, noisy people shouting at each other as they walked up my road at 3am, the cat wanting out at 4am and the Police helicopter doing circuits very low over my house at 6am saw me up nice and early but not in the best frame of mind. A look out of the window at grey overcast skies did not better my mood any. With a  second days cricket on the trot in prospect though, the chance of doing a report with Beefy and that third cup of coffee, I brightened up a bit.

I arrived at the ground with little incident, all the lines I use were running well (at least the bits I needed, I’m just glad I do not live in Ruislip). A minor detour to St John’s Wood High Street to get some more beer tokens (yesterdays supply having been depleted somewhat) and then up to the ground. Skies still grey and the wind blowing a good breeze. I had arranged to meet Beefy on the Edrich Upper and had already received a text from him to say he would be “late on parade”.  ( are you Barmy Kev in disguise?)

Play had just commenced for the day as I took my seat with Northants fast running out of overs to maximise their batting points total and Middlesex their bowling one. Dial M and Super Ped open the day’s proceedings and looked lively; though the overnight not out batsmen Peters and Boje seemed untroubled. ASBO replaced Super Ped at the Pavilion End so he could switch to replace Dial M at the Nursery End. With 100 overs bowled in the innings the score was 318-4. This became 330-5 when Super Ped had Boje smartly caught by Ace as Northants started to push on.

The 350 came up as Peters got to 150 in 174mins off 299 balls and Northants acquired their 4^th batting point. Various bowling changes were tried to dislodge either Hall or the pugnacious Peters, nothing worked and Iceman being off the field for most of the morning (having treatment on his back he injured yesterday probably) rather limited Shaggy’s options.

Lunch was taken with Northants on 402-5, Peters 175 n.o and Hall 33 n.o.

The roast ( not ex Northants Alan) lamb in the Middlesex Room went down really well and was good value for the price charged. Replenished with that and my first pint of the day (well, I was “on duty”!) after watching a few overs from the warmth of the Middlesex Room I returned to the Edrich for the afternoons play.

By this time Bangladesh are already beginning to look doomed in the Test (which started after an early lunch in Manchester due to weather), with their star opener already gone to Anderson, Finn picks up the wicket of Kayes (14-2) Hall reaches his 50 as Finn gets another scalp in the Test. As the Bangladeshis slide to 37-5 our chances of seeing Moggy on Wednesday increase greatly, not to mention HiFi and maybe even Lord Brockett! Peters who had batted well all day then posted his highest ever first class score and moved on to 191 when Super Ped got nut megged by a ball on the Tavern boundary which flew into the rope, a somewhat schoolboy error greeted with howls of laughter from the assembled hardy souls in the Edrich stand. By way of doing another “tactical” I popped in to see Eric and purchase a windproof jacket. Having been up yesterday with just a polo shirt on I made the stupid error of thinking any two days weather this summer would be similar to each other and had been freezing my bits off up on the Edrich since about noon. Purchase on and a credit card bill to explain to the wife at a later date I returned to the Edrich.

Bangladesh slide to 39-6 and anyone thinking of going tomorrow must have known the game is up. The sun puts in an appearance, the umpires send their coats off with the twelfth man and I peel off my new purchase.

Finally a breakthrough (and we are not talking Newman’s finger which got hit and saw him leave the field immediately , to return shortly after I hasten to add), Peters is caught and bowled by Shaggy for of all things 199 off 391 balls in 545mins with 20 4’s. Beefy tries a “tactical” which fails to have the required result and Super Ped makes a regulation stop which is greeted with at least three players yelling “yes Peddy” , irony or what ?

Another wicket for HiFi in the Test (his third of the innings) and at 76-6 the boys are looking for a day off tomorrow. The 147 over mark sees Northants at 484-6 which surpassed their highest ever innings total against Middlesex (that being 479 at Uxbridge in 1995, an innings I also saw). The 500 goes onto the board while I am on a smoke break and we are going through the motions waiting for Northants to decide they have inflicted enough pain on us and declare.

Highlight of the day time now folks in the true TMS Champagne ( or Mango) moment style it was too. A long drive from the batsman down the ground towards the Edrich is chased by Ace from close in and Asbo from the front of the Mound stand, it’s neck and neck as to who will get there first, Asbo puts in a slide a Newcastle defender would have been proud of and nearly cleans Ace up as he (Asbo) goes over the boundary with the ball.  This in itself was funny enough, Asbo’s trousers are marked as might Aces have been as he appeared to nearly wet himself laughing over the incident , however Asbo’s trail of destruction had taken a huge divot out of the outfield, Mr Hunt’s sacred turf had been damaged . Ace threw the ball back in and Asbo made his way rather sheepishly back to his fielding position avoiding the trench he had ploughed into the field on his way back to post.

(Editor please note: for this one incident alone I propose that D. Evans aka ASBO from here on in on this site be know as “divot”.)

Hall reaches a well made 100 of Robbo’s first over of bowling in the innings (yes we did try almost everyone with the ball!), 103 runs, 153 balls, 172 mins with 14 fours. Bangladesh loses another wicket to HiFi 97-8 in the Test.

Tea is taken and it’s time to have a look at that divot! I reckon you could plant spuds in that trench! Mind you to be fair it takes a long time to slow a Super Tanker to a stop and “Divots” effort did resemble on of those coming into port. Ground staff having relined the creases are duly sent to repair the damaged sod, on completion of the work and to cheers from the Edrich the grounds man gives his opinion that “he wants to lose a bit of weight”, Divot who is a big unit I think he meant. With the players retaking the field quite sensibly the grounds man departs.

In the Test it is 119-9 and HiFi has picked up his second “Michelle” in two Tests, what a star. Within minutes Swann has taken the final wicket to see England to a win by an innings and 80 runs.

550 up off 968 balls and our fielding appears to have gone to pot again, even the drink Robbo tried to catch when Iceman threw it to him was dropped!! The second new ball is taken and Divot with 98 runs against his name gets to use it from the Nursery End after Super Ped gets first go from the Pavilion end. Only one run off his over sees him go to 99. Murphy reaches his 50 and Super Ped then removes Hall’s middle stump bowling him all over the place for 133. The declaration is made with Murphy not out 50 and Divot escaping his personal ton by the slimmest of margins, not unappreciated by the crowd who he doffs the cap to as he leaves the field. With 581 runs scored in the Northants innings it will be a big ask for the lads to get anything out of this game.

The clouds thicken and the rain starts as the players retake the field. 224 is our first target (to avoid an innings defeat), Robbo and Newman open against old boy Vass (who has still got it) although Robbo does open his account with a 4 off him. Brooks opens from the Nursery end and Newman’s second ball gets tapped to Hall in the slips to leave us 4-1. The shot would not have been too bad if it had been played by another Scott we know , Tracy , the pilot of Thunderbird One but the dismay it caused in the stands was palpable.

Ace and Robbo see us through to the close of play though Ace looks fidgety and survives on or two “moments”. The day finishes with extra overs being bowled for a change due to the amount of spin we employed earlier in the day and Middlesex close on 48-1, Robson 24 n.o and Shah 22 n.o, a small matter of 176 runs from saving the innings defeat with a day to play left in the game.

On the Longest Day of the year it is fitting to remember that 66 years ago to the day the liberation of Europe began when Operation Neptune commenced the D Day landings which lead to the long hard road to Berlin and peace. Today should be seen as our start on the road to promotion, yes it will be hard work but a cause that everyone believes in can be achieved as it was in 1944.

Many young men of many nations laid down their lives for us all in the last year of the war after D-Day. All we can ask of our team is that they give of their best to see us achieve our goals this season.