Pea Soup Fog of War Descends-Big Nose Up Before FA

By Andy Strouthous
October 26 2004

In any war the truth is always the first to suffer (as Tony Blair will tell anyone daft enough to hang around and listen). Like me you probably went to bed thinking that you had just seen a football match end without the events of last year recurring.

But apparently the Arsenal have learnt their lesson (from Ho Chi Min) and gone underground with guerilla tactics. Patiently queuing up to buy soup and sandwiches they then ambushed Manure and Old Red Nose in the tunnel. Well that's if the press are to be believed, was it Pea Soup, Tomato Soup or just plain water? The choice is yours depending on which rag (including the Grauniad) you read. Was ol red nose given a menu first by Arsenal's French Squad. Did Henry advise the Old Patriarch to go with the main course?
Or was it that Sir Awexs nurse was giving him his after match Bovril from a flask when she slipped?

Who is the mystery witness who saw it all? The one who saw Lauren and Henry fighting last year? Who actually took part? Details are thin because I suspect its all bollocks.

We do however have evidence of what really happened - Big Nose's hack on Cole is now coming up before the FA. Ferdinand's foul, and what should have been a sending off is clear for the whole world to see. Numerous clips are available of Reyes being kicked up in the air, and of Rooney diving.

But oh dear Arsenal are bad losers
Wenger should not have raised any of this - he should have said the best team won. Even if it meant lying.
Arsenal were chiseled and cheated to defeat, and I am glad they are bad losers - being a good loser is for failures. This reminds me of the Newcastle match the year we won the double for the second time. We had an unfair penalty decision and sending off and although we played them off the park we lost. Sir Bobby called us bad losers, he was right we were - we went on to win the double, knocking Newcastle out of the cup on the way.

Media Wind UpsOnce again the media are winding it up with stories about Arsenal never selling out home games, which is why you can't buy tickets for the next three games. The unsold tickets are for the away fans. It's understandable that they don't want to turn up for their annual drubbing.

Meanwhile Sky Sports News claims everyone hates Arsenal, maybe, but not as much as they hate Manure who came near the top of a poll on hated brands. Ha ha they are a brand - not a football club, or soon to be a pension fund.
Keep it up lads - no irony here - the more you slag us off the better we will do.

Golden Globes Nominations
Alan Hansen, George Graham and Kevein Mcarra(Grauniad) for telling the truth about the dirty cheating tactics of Manure.
Golden Turd Nominations
Daniel Taylor (Grauniad), Sky Sports News and Sky Sports, for licking Man U arses outside of the 9pm watershed.