Arsenal Have It Easy Says Jose

Champs
By Boris Mellor
December 29 2004

JOSE MOANRINHO had a sly dig at rivals Arsenal after Chelsea went eight points clear at the top last night. The Chelski boss is unhappy that the Gunners had an extra day’s rest over the busy holiday period before facing Newcastle today.

Moanrinho is reported as saying "They always seem to have two or three days’ rest in which to recover. I don’t understand it with all this extra rest they get. Perhaps it’s something to do with the TV schedule."

No way Jose, its nothing to do with TV schedules, the Arsenal Times can reveal that the Professor has invented a time machine that takes the whole team back two days in time after every fixture is completed. After several days extra rest they are then transported back to the future in time for the next match.

However due to mechanical problems the machine is in the workshop for repairs and the team will only have Thursday and Friday to recover from their arduous trip to Newcastle before playing Charlton this Saturday.

However when Abromowitch heard that Arsene had a time machine he rushed out and bought two for his team (one for the reserves). And now Chelsea have Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to recover before playing on Saturday.

Alan Curbishley has lodged a complaint with the FA over the issue, he believes the use of time machines has made an unlevelled playing field even more unequal. Smaller clubs can’t afford to buy international stars yet alone time machines he told Arsenal Times.

But Sam Allardyce believes it’s a good idea as clubs like Bolton will be able to go back in time and buy up youth players like Campo, Hierro, Ferdinand on the cheap, and before they become clapped out coffin dodgers on a run of six defeats in a row.

Sir Alex did have a time machine, but it went missing after the FA drug inspectors asked to look it over.