Tale of the Unexpected

Big Harvey gives us another superb report as he covers the World Cup. This time overcoming a strange odour from a local canal he gives the inside track to how England pulled off a great victory against South Africa.

There are many bad smells associated with cricket. From the whiff of corruption surrounding Stanford's Twenty20, Modi's IPL, and match fixing scandals, to the eye-watering experience of a visit to the toilets of the Sydney Hotel in Galle. However nothing, but nothing could have prepared me for the malodorous stench emanating from the waterway immediately adjacent to the East gate of Chennai's M.A. Chidambaram Stadium. And guess where we had to go to pick up our Kyazoonga tickets? Yes, that's right, you've guessed it! The East Gate!

The waterway in question – although what it contains bears very little relation to water – is rather grandly called The Buckingham Canal, but to describe it as an open sewer does not even begin to do justice to just how foul and foetid its contents actually are.

Delightful

Amazingly the Kyazoonga ticket office was open on time, and there was little in the way of a queue when I arrived. Maybe I could also pick up my ticket for the West Indies game that's also being held here? No such luck. They wouldn't want to make it easy or convenient for us now, would they? The tickets that we paid for months ago will only be made available for pick-up the day before the game.

That means another morning being kept hanging around outside the stinkiest part of cricket's vilest smelling international venue. Great.

Anyway, it turned out that my ticket was for the Upper Tier of the East Stand. Yes, that's right, the part nearest The Buckingham Canal. Still, I was very high up, and surely with most of the noxious gases emanating from said waterway being heavier than air, maybe we would be spared the worst of it, right? Wrong! Once the sun got on the “water,” the vigorous biochemical reactions taking place therein quickened dramatically, releasing an ever more dense cloud of nauseating vapours.

England won the toss and elected to bat. The only change to the England side humiliated by Ireland in Bangalore was Bopara in for Collingwood.

South African captain Graeme Smith opted to open the bowling with Peterson, a slow left armer. An innovative move, and one that looked like a good idea, especially given KP's much publicised vulnerability to left arm spin.

It was looking like an even better idea by the end of the first over, as Strauss holed out to du Plessis at mid-wicket for a duck. It was way too early in the innings to be playing shots like that. Then off the final ball of the over, KP joined him, edging to slip. Disaster! England 3-2 off 1 over.

Things got even worse in the 5^th over, with Bell patting the ball tamely back to Peterson, who did well to hang onto it, since he was off balance. 15-3 off 4.4.

Trott and Bopara tried to steady the ship, but were not finding it easy to score runs, with boundaries being especially elusive. In the 14^th over, Bopara was beaten outside the off-stump by successive Morkel deliveries, edging the next between keeper and slip for a rare boundary. My mate Steve reckoned it was a deliberate steer, but it didn't look like one to me.

In the 15^th over, Trott was given out LBW to Tahir, but this was overturned on appeal. He was well forward and it would have missed off-stump by a mile.

The 50 partnership came from 72 balls.

The England batsmen were surviving, but being kept in check by the South African bowlers, and it was a relief in the 25^th over, when Bopara finally cut loose and smacked Duminy back over his head for 6. It was not to be a taste of things to come, however.

The 100 came up in 26 overs, which did represent quite a recovery.

Trott's 50 took 87 balls, and it was a vital knock, but he proved unable to go on on and accelerate, falling caught and bowled to Tahir, who took a sharp chance diving to his left, for 52.

At the 30 over mark, England had reached 115-4.

Bopara's 50, like Trott's, took 87 balls, and had given England some hope.

That's until a collapse which saw Prior caught behind off Morkel for 10, Bopara falling LBW to the same bowler for 60, wasting a review in the process, and Bresnan falling LBW to Steyn for 1. England 149-7 off 40 overs and sinking fast.

Then Yardy ended a 17 ball innings which yielded just 3 runs, dollying an easy catch to short cover off Tahir. Broad followed shortly after, LBW to the same bowler for a duck, and the carnage was complete when Swann skied one to mid-off to end a plucky innings of 16, once again off the same bowler.

171 all out off 45.4 overs. England had batted like a drain. Not like The Buckingham Canal though. Not even Bangladesh, who were bowled out for 58 by the West Indies a few days ago batted that badly!

I sent my friend Steve to check out what food was on offer. Twenty minutes later he returned with the news that not a morsel of food was left! It was all sold out! Was the crowd bigger than expected? It was a decent one, but the ground was only about half full. Did they assume that with the ever-present stench from the Buckingham Canal, nobody would even be able to think of eating anything? Either way, all there was left to buy was (tepid) soft drinks.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and Graeme Smith must have been feeling pretty flattered when Strauss opened the bowling with the left-arm spin of Yardy. He must also have thought Christmas had come early. After 5 overs it was 27-0, just the start South Africa were looking for.

In the 8^th over, KP shied needlessly at the stumps, conceding four overthrows. Shoddy work that England could ill-afford.

England tightened things up though, and even though it looked like a token gesture, when Swann successfully had a “not-out” decision for a caught behind against Graeme Smith, who had scored 22, overturned on review, it was a deserved wicket. 63-1 off 14.1.

Amla though had looked comfortable throughout, and when he played onto his stumps off Stuart Broad for 42, it came completely out of the blue. Even better followed, as Kallis was caught behind chasing a wide one for 15.

82-3 off 19.2, and England looked to be in with a sniff! Not that they'd be wanting to take too many of those if the pong out in the middle was anything like it was in the Upper Tier of the East Stand!

After 30 overs, De Villiers and du Plessis had crawled to 118-3. They were in no hurry, but didn't need to be. They just had to nudge ones and twos here and there, and the game would be South Africa's.

Then off the last ball of the 32^nd over, De Villiers was bowled by an Anderson delivery that only just grazed the top of the bails. In fact, it was only noticed belatedly by the fielding side, but he had to go! 124/4.

Two balls later, du Plessis came down the pitch to Swann, but could only dab it to short leg, whose swift piece of work caught the batsman out of his ground! 124-5.

Things looked to have got even worse for SA, but Duminy was saved on review after being given out caught behind off Anderson. Two balls later they did, as Anderson uprooted his off-stump! The crowd - and not all of them had stayed beyond the first few overs of the South African innings – was going crazy. 124-6, and nobody was drifting out now!

England had the momentum and runs had almost dried up. Prior missed stumping Peterson off KP, but partially redeemed himself by catching the same batsman off the last ball of a wicket maiden by Yardy!

127-7, and suddenly England were favourites!

Off the next ball, bowled by KP, Prior dropped van Wyck. The England keeper is not having the greatest of tournaments and this looked costly as van Wyck and Dale Steyn set about rescuing South Africa.

Amid scenes of unbearable tension, they dug deep, and had almost taken South Africa home when van Wyck bottom edged an attempted cut onto his own stumps off the bowling of Bresnan for a 37 ball 13. 160-8 off 46.2 overs, just 12 more needed.

Then with just 8 more needed, Broad pinned Steyn LBW, which looked even more plumb on the review which Steyn called for! Amazing stuff! His assured-looking 20 had not been quite enough.

This brought in Tahir, who managed a single off his first ball, but two balls later off the same bowler, Morkel could only edge through to Prior!

The game was England's by 6 runs in yet another grandstand finale to a match that had looked to be dead in the water.

That's not to say that there weren't some things that were dead in the water (quite a lot of things, it seemed) as I made my way out of the ground back to my hotel. Yes, that's right, my walk involved having to follow (at least for a short way) the banks of The Buckingham Canal.