A Right Royal Perfect Match
Destroyed Sorry Again
By Barmy Kev
April 29 2011
Barmy Kev reports on his day witnessing a suberb win for Middle with political incorrectness, loud chanting and a massive high. This has been a momentous day for our proud nation, but more importantly one for our great cricket club.
This was a day of cricket I had earmarked from start of season. Bank Holiday (thanks Kate and Wills), avoidance of obvious TV saturation and cricket against our Sorry local rivals. Little then did I realise then what a great day this would be.
True to form, as I tend to make it at ground for long distant away trips in plenty of time, I was somehow 15 minutes late here. Don’t ask! No Beefy texts as I was making my way to ground and I arrived, as correctly predicted no wickets down. In fact watching Wilson and Davies they looked very comfortable. There was talk of pitch flattening out and how Middlesex lose games from winning positions, I was starting to worry. There were conversations of the other “Match” in Westminster and related links like their No.10 (Viscount) Linley and my comment about Stephen Davies that was replica of Graham Norton’s night before on TV, that may get me into trouble if I mention on here.
It was TRJ being introduced into attack that produced the end of Wilson’s dogged performance caught behind. After this, TRJ seemed as if he was going to produce a wicket every ball. He did next over RHB caught behind again. The only moan was those who were filling out scorecards, with their full names not allowing enough room. Then a masterstroke of tactical genius, which just has to be admired. Maynard, presumably based on 1st innings shots , Dext bowling and he placed two fielders in kind of Silly Mid off position, a mistimed drive straight into hands of Crook tactically placed there. Or was this wicket down to Diamond’s fag and toilet visit? Moments like this are priceless. Beefy was going on “one more before lunch”, but 5 down at lunch was satisfying.
After lunch, didn’t take long for Collymore to have Batty plum LBW, although Nora looked at his bat as if he got an inside edge. Who cares? Jordan and Davies were rebuilding I was falling asleep, thank you Diamond for flicking my neck regularly to wake me. I woke up and saw Jordan caught behind. Then Lower Pav started chanting from Grandstand B with a vocal "Middle, Middle, Middle" supported with great "Sex". Then he led further chant saying “ We only need 3 days” and later I felt need to vocally state “Can We Play you Every Week?” and to Chris Adams on Pavilion “ You’re Getting Sacked In The Morning”? Don’t blame me, blame Lower Pav.
Then as Yasir Arafat (politically incorrect comments about name omitted from report) was playing for time. A comment was made that all Sorry wickets have been either LBW or caught behind stumps and no one had been bowled ; as Davies was in 90’s thoughts that like Maynard he would be left stranded without ton. Soon after Davies out bowled, played on for 94, never mind. More of similar chants but, even more vocally and Dingy Bags reminded us “ We are Top Of League I Say We Are top of league.
Arafat hanging around too long .We were getting thirsty get him out (more political incorrectness stated due to deep thirst). TRJ was bought back on, the “Toby Roland-Jones” chant started and Arafat caught at 3rd slip by Malan (Diamond said "Simmo would have caught that"). Dernbach (“If I Can Dernbach Time” may have been thoughts of RHB as he put us in on Day 1 and now about to lose by an innings) who before facing a ball practiced a straight forward defensive, sarcastic cheers followed. His first ball he tried to hoik missed by a country mile and next ball was more successful he skied a dolly to Newman. Game won, big celebration.
Celebratory drinks in Middlesex Room,
followed by more in Tavern with unrepeatable conversations.
For one more time to any Sorry readers “ Can We Play You Every Week, Can We Play You Every Week”?
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2011:05:03:16:30:38 by comebackgatt.
I was interested to note that the commentators were speculating as to who would be "Middlesex and Surrey's main rivals for promotion."
Can anyone see Sorry being serious contenders for promotion this year? From what I saw of this game, their bowling attack without Tremlett sucks big time! I can't see them bowling too many sides out twice on the pancake pitches they prepare down there.
A right royal day out and a majestic reporting performance by our Kev.
Lots of chat with the lads who all look amazingly lean and fit, all put it down to boot camp, good pre-season practice and the new(ish) Gus inspired team ethos within the club.
Send him victorious long to reign over us,God thank Gus and the lads for the best start to a season for ages.
The run of wins will end eventually, later rather than sooner I hope.Enjoy your day off lads.
GREAT report!!!!
Very funny (the bit you couldn't write!!)
Kimmy
I of course enjoyed all 3 days, though the last day was exceptional.
Early days of course but it is fabulous looking at the league table.
Come On The Mighty Middle.
A truly superb performance against that lot and another convincing victory.Good natured banter as we got to the winning post,had a long walk back to Paddington station with Diamond and Ken(Womble) stopping off in the golden arches takeaway place to use their gents,then the chippy for fish n chips,that was at sometime in the evening!