Spitfires give Panthers Lift off followed by Crash Landing

Bumble's Nose reports from Canterbury as kent beat Middx in a very low scoring game. Grim reading AGAIN for Middle fans as our T20 form hits rock bottom.

Twenty minutes before the start of play a helicopter circled the St Lawrence Ground and landed on the outfield.

 This form of the game needs its razzmatazz apparently. The point of this particular episode was revealed when the chopper disgorged Rob Key and Neil Dexter in full kit who then ambled their way to the middle for the toss.

 The coin went up and it came down followed by a handshake. Then the PA announcer conducted interviews with the captains. Unfortunately, the deafening roar of rotor blades on the outfield drowned out all of it. We were none the wiser. It was a little bit of Apocalypse Now as scripted by the writer of a Carry On film.

Considering what followed it was a relatively sane moment in an extraordinary evening.

 Middlesex had opted to field and Ireland was given an unfamiliar round object. Dexter seemed to be pointing at three distant wooden sticks and saying ‘you remember all of this, don’t you?’

 And didn’t he just. Bounding in like a dog suddenly let out for a game of fetch he landed the ball in the right areas and removed Denly in a wicket maiden. With his next over he had Mahmood mistiming to Dexter at short midwicket and saw Stevens nearly snaffled by Simpson low and hard to his right.

 Crook trapped Stevens next over with one that thudded into his pads as he was trapped in his crease. Ireland returned and Northeast pushed for a single to mid on. Stirling pounced and from distance spectacularly rearranged the stumps.

So in control were the visitors that it wasn’t until Key drove McLaren through the covers in the 6^th over that the first boundary arrived. Revenge was prompt as Simpson took an impressive catch next ball. By the time Ireland removed Billings in his final over, Kent were in total disarray, undone by aggressive bowling and keen fielding. 21-6.

 Then the storm abated. Roland-Jones took the 9^th over and rustily dropped short, twice being thwacked to the boundary by Jones. Darlymple and Dexter didn’t look penetrative. All of this happening while the captain still had with two overs apiece of McLaren and Crook up his sleeve. With nine bowling options to play with Dexter opted to not go for the kill. When Crook finally returned to flatten Riaz’s off stump the score had reached the dizzy heights of 78. Sniffing three figures, Tredwell launched two mighty sixes. Langeveldt swung powerfully and the score crept to defendable 115, probably 30 or 40 more than Kent should have managed. McLaren hadn’t even completed his quota.

 This probably wouldn’t have mattered if we’d opened with the tradition known as the ‘Stirling over’. A brisk and muscular swing of the Irishman’s cudgel would have got a couple of fours and sent a message.  Not this time. Stirling discovered his inner Boycott, much as we’d always demanded. Immaculate defensive shots showed that he does have his circumspect side. Then, bored with it all, he reprised a familiar dismissal: a bouncer pulled from off stump into the hands of mid on.

 Dexter and Newman sensibly ticked over until Scott played too soon and chipped a leading edge to mid off. Having pulled the previous ball for four he remains the most frustrating of cricketers. When Dexter found a fielder lurking in the only shadows not illuminated by the brand new floodlights the score was 30-3. Game on, unfortunately.  Malan promised much. Of all the batsmen he showed the sweetest timing including an exquisite straight drive. He needed to bat through, particularly after Dalrymple had got out to a horribly executed reverse sweep and Simpson had been stumped off Tredwell. But in the 15^th over he was gone, slicing Mahmood down third man’s throat.

When McLaren stood disbelieving after a stunning Langeveldt caught and bowled it was 68-7 with just three overs left.  The crowd that had been comatose for most of this chilly evening suddenly roared into life sensing an unlikely win. In a losing cause Smith and Crook produced the most enterprising stand of the innings. The latter’s six over extra cover off Riaz was a glimmer of hope.

The 19^th over from Langeveldt was a frenetic hotchpotch of a wide, a no ball, a free hit and batsmen wafting at thin air. When Riaz came on for the last over 20 were needed. Despite Smith’s four off the first ball a series of well-disguised slower balls strangled the run chase. It finished 105-7 with Crook 23 not out in a stand of 37.

The crowd left in a blur of cheery incredulity at their win. “I can’t believe it,” said one fan to another. “I bloody well can,” I muttered inaudibly.

 It was 10 pm and a long way home without a helicopter.