Final Ashes diary

By Barmy Kev
December 25 2002

In his final report from down under, Bamry Kev shares the delight of something very very rare. England winning a game of Cricket!

Mon -16/12 A chilling out day in Melbourne, I'm only here for the culture. Got a local paper(rag) that was very Xenophobic about another Aussie thrashing of us and " the better crowd behaviour" amongst the locals. Hmmm!. Shall I write in to express my views? nah! can't be asked it won't be printed anyway. Then local news channel, I heard something similar. Sod it, wrote in to two local rags, nothing to lose-check this site for details-me perhaps calling these fans "a disgrace to our Empire" was OTT but got something off my chest. Please note a lot a Aussies are wonderfully hospitaple, its just the d**kheads who attends the ODIs.

Tues 17/12- ODI V Sri Lanka @ Brisbaine.Couldn't make this one. To follow a one day series in Aus with different venues, the size of UK apart is not easy. Anyway not just here for the cricket. Today was a beach day-perfect weather that lasted. Followed by a free Jazz concert ( I'm only here for the free Jazz) at Melbourne City Square. In between, what I saw on box, when I turned up England 284-5 from 45 overs, saw us lose 5 wickets for 14 runs, disappointed we couldn't make 300 from this pos. Has my jinx struck again, Am I being greedy? Watched more free jazz, popped up backed to hotel to see Caddick, took a couple of early wickets. Anyway, saw the remaining 22 overs at a casino bar, with few England fans there, SL having lost a few more wickets and way behind the run rate and the only issue was whether SL would get a bonus point for finishing less than 20% behind. They just sneaked the bonus point. Ace had been dropped for this game, Collingwood his like for like replacement, scored a quick fire 37 and fielded like a dream, sadly Ace in the deep never had such opportunties. He will need a few more injuries ( or divorces) to get in World cup XV now. The other England fans at the bar sugggested I kept away from Perth for final game, for some reason.

Wed 18 Dec Tried to arrange trip to see penguins but was fully booked and couldn't arrange to see them independently. so I couldn't even p.p.p.p.ick-up a penguin. Anyway more free jazz, then saw concert by Brian Wilson ( ex Beech Boy)

Thurs 19 Dec Back to Perth. Hotel stayed at was close to WACA, near a wine merchants and had a swimming pool. The weather was gloriously hot. Idealic situation.

Fri 20 Dec-my final game v SL Wanted to go out in style. Today was the hottest day so far. Had this feeling of being a jinx, but was determined to enjoy myself and here's hoping. England win toss and bat first on a bouncy wicket. Not a good start both Tres. and Knight out similar misjudged pull shots in deep, 26-2. When Whippy in, one run from previous 3 ODIs ( what's the definition of a fraction-Whippys ODI batting average). First ball he nearly runs Nasser out. Also before he scored was dropped at slip ( perhaps this let off will be his turning point). Got a streaky 4. But was out for 4 faced 11 balls- hmm! Nasser and Collingwood turned things round, although another drop-this time crucial-at slip when Collingwood scored 11-they put on 50 but 89-4 was still worrying. Stewie only made 4, 93 for 5 ,and when Blackwell was out with score on 122 I was thinking lets get something around 200 to make things interesting. However, Chalkie and Collingwood had a superb 100+ partnership. The best thing about this, no stupid slogs or runs just sensible hitting and non panicky running and before I knew it England were closing in on 250 and Collingwood on 100. With support from Caddick, Anderson ( luckily Harmison not required) both achieved. Target 259. Onimous sign when 13 off of Caddick's first over. But he finished with figures of 10-3-30-3. With Sangakarra gone soon after 46-4 looked good for us. At this stage SL seemed to give up. Jawardene made a patient 30, but no sign of a run riot and that this stage with run rate required increasing and wickets slowly falling, even by my premature celebration standards with 20 overs to go could safely celebrate a win. What followed next was non stop singing led by me. Every time it went quiet. The Barmy Army shouted Kevin, Give us a song, Kevin Kevin give us a song. Apart from the obvious ( I was wearing my Santa Claus hat) Jingle Bells etc Oh What fun it is to sing England win away, and England top of the league-which we were at the time, my "only snow can save Sri Lanka now" (it was 100 degrees at time)went down well, as well as the drumming chants against SL drummer fans that went quieter and quieter as the game drifted away. My mate Barmy Haz sent loads of text messages who was watching game live from Sydney that the cameras were focussed on me and my voice could be heard. It was great feeling that I added value to occasion. Hope there's no letters in local press complaining about me. For the record SL all out 163. Lively celebration in pub after.

Sat 21 Dec Flying back. Over breakfast was thanked by England fans for my contribution to singing.

Sun 22 Dec Arrived back Heathrow 5am peeing down-2 hr wait for train from Paddington to Wembley. Welcome back to real world.

Roll on county season.

Middlesex/ England ( in that order) till I die

(Barmy) Kev

We are currently looking for people to write articles for this site during the off season. We have ten slots avalible. If you are interested in writting for this site please e-mail me at davidslater30@hotmail.com with either notification that you will be able to write for the site or your article. As a futher incentive, anyone who does write an article will be the recipant for a free drink during next season. Thank you very much for your help,

Yours expecting 10 articles all from Kev,

David