Helm Steers Sinking Ship by the Sea to Victory

Barmy Kev reports on witnessing a comprehensive victory for the Middle. There are many questions asked on was it really worth him being there?

I was dithering on Saturday on whether to go to this game today . My previous experience at Garons Park 8 years ago, my final words were " never again".  I took wife ( in background of picture below)  and mother in law to be away for weekend to Southend and the concusion was good weekend , shame about the cricket and the ground.

That was then. This in now.

Then Rogers & Out offered me a door to door service lift for today, which I couldn’t refuse.  We left Edgware in glorious sunshine. The other passenger Chris Thomas read out forecast from his phone for Southend 1pm dry, 2pm light rain shower, 3pm light rain shower, 4pm heavy rain shower, 5 heavy rain shower, 6 light rain shower, 7 light rain shower.  This was read out as approaching Waltham Abbey junction, too late to turn back.

Hard hat required at every away trip

 When I arrived at ground this reminded me on how soulless this venue was.  What are we doing here?  It was one of those days when you really feel you are a loyal supporter for making the effort. There was a spluttering of Middlesex fans and certainly no Unicorn fans and few corporates.  My first chant of day was “Shit Ground No fans, Shit Ground No Fans.” Followed by “ Your supposed to be at home”.

 We won the toss and elected to field, which made sense given probable D/L chase.  TRJ opened the bowling and sadly was struggling with line, conceded a free hit and publically demonstrated how unhappy he was with himself.  At the other end it was announced Tom Helm opening the bowling and achieved a maiden, except the bowler was infact Tim Murtagh. After 5 overs and openers starting to dominate , there was a downpour players were called off, loud trance music playing from the speakers close to us, the downpour ceased and in approx 30 seconds players were back and thankfully the irritating music stopped for now. The openers were batting freely until last ball of 6^th over our 1^st wicket as Lancefield (Sorry reject) lobbed simple catch for Dex with score on 35. O’Shea joined Lineker and they were scoring with great ease. The real Tom Helm was introduced and his debut ball was over pitched went for a single which prompted a comment  “another village cricketer”. Alas, Helm proved to be the most economical of our bowlers as run rate increasing and TRJ struggling with his radar.  Meanwhile, Lineker reached his 50 comfortably and Unicorns were 91-1 after 15 overs.  The projected score was 250. Ollie was bought on and his first ball Gary deceived by flight was both caught behind and stumped.

 Then that rare thing the sun popped up. Chris Thomas checked forecast from phone was now from 4pm -7pm white cloud. Game on.

I'm obly here for the sun tan

 Tom Helm was bowling with control and forced Park into leading edge caught by Dext.  After 5 overs his figures were 1-22 and continued to contain take wickets and ended up with 3-27 off 8. Not bad for a "village cricketer"    Ollie was equally as economical and rate was crawling at 3 an over. Wickets were falling and to save the many Unicorns fans who maybe reading this report, the gory details will be spared. To summarise they collapsed with a 79-9 spell and were all out in the 36^th over.  The final wicket was a daft run out, yes/ no contemplating a 2 that wasn't there. The highlight from Middle point of view was the ball after he took a bad knock from wild throw, Rossington took a superb diving catch from a top edge. Denly also took a spectacular diving one in the deep. The final total of 170 seemed easily gettable and way too short.  The only downside was loud music in our ears for each wicket, tottally unecessary for this kind of game. 

  1^st over of our response Stirlo hit a cracking driven four, next ball a thick edge in the air for ages that fell nicely to hands of 3^rd man. Perhaps this target is not so easy?  Thereafter Denly and Malan batted without any scares just punishing bad balls, running hard on the wide outfield. It was cold, but there was no rain concerns. We were way above the “Vera” and it became too easy as excitement levels are concerned. It reached the point where random conversations occurred.  We were discussing the subject of after a full season, the point of sudden death play offs in football and rugby. Then what's the point of Unicorns, should they wear pointed helmets? Back to cricket, there was another big hit from Denly clearing the fielder over boundary rope, who promptly chose to signal four to umpire. The umpire asked him if was sure and he shouted back “it was my gut feeling it was 4”.  Nobody was convinced and not bothered as these cheated 2 runs seemed insignificant. Ironically to same fielder Denly next over he hit a massive 6.  I chanted on my own,“ four more to the Middlesex”. As runs required overtook overs remaining, the only point of interest was whether Denly would reach his ton. He needed to score 24 out of 28 required and then a rookie bowled beamer for 6 extras that seemed to kill that bit of excitement. With 10 needed, Denly skied one the fielder Lineker didn’t risk the diving catch and just allowed the ball to bounce and concede 2 runs nonchantly-this summed up the opposition approach.  Denly, could still get ton as Malan batted unselfishly, he was on 95 with 3 runs required. He finished with a 4 to leave him 99 not out and as it transpired he was cheated out of a century. 

 In conclusion, most importantly the victory was achieved in 27.5 overs which improves our NRR.  Despite their flying start the opposition were poor and at times amateurish in their approach. We did a professional job and can only perform in what is in front of you.  It was a great relief, apart from 30 second break on off break, we had uninterrupted cricket.  It was a fun day out in good company but Garons Park away never again. Not until the next time.