Middlesex alumni frustrate current Middlesex

London Leprechaub sums up a frustrating day for Middlesex with an open letter to the chief frustrators - both ex Middlesex players. You might also note a certain frustration with our inability to get the over rate sorted.

An open letter to Mr Kettleborough and Mr Crook 

Dear James and Steve

The runs kept coming

We were very happy to have you both on our books here at Middlesex for a while although at slightly different ages. We are delighted to welcome you back to Lords but I must say that in future visits to the County we would ask you to observe the following etiquette for visiting guests especially in our 150^th year.

•         Please don’t make your maiden Championship fifties or centuries against us;
•         Stephen: Please don’t make Northamptonshire’s highest individual score of the season by hitting 23 fours in your 134; having to retrieve the balls so often from the furthest boundaries does not help a struggling over rate;
•         Please don’t take advantage of a good pitch by almost doubling the score between the 6^th and 7^th wickets; especially by hitting the new ball all over the place;
•         Please don’t take advantage of the fact that we have to bowl part time leggies to improve our over rate to hit them for eight an over;
•         Please don’t use the fact that you have saved the follow on to go from 328 to 380 in no time at all just because we are trying to get our over rate down from minus 4;
•         However please do lose your last two wickets quickly by trying to get your fifth batting point in time. It was courteous of you to do this and enable us to get our full bowling points.
•         James: Please don’ t take a catch of our Captain towards the end of the day just because he was trying to be positive and set up a position tomorrow where we can maybe set you a target and bowl long enough to salvage some bonus points and maybe even win the game.  I know it was an easy catch straight to you, but all the same.  . .
•         Oh and please don’t win the match tomorrow – we don’t mind you staying in Division 1; most of us rather like your home ground but it would not be good for our blood pressure if we lose a 2^nd match in a row having got around 500 in both first innings.
•         We do hope you don’t mind us asking you these things, especially now that all results are possible tomorrow.

 All the best on behalf of Middlesex supporters.