Too many Kevs; not enough batsmen

Dingy reports on an eventful and injury affected day for Middlesex. Thankfully it is not as bad as feared so we also get diversions of mistaken identity, dropped catches and captaincy connundroms. An extraordinary day indeed.

An extraordinary day’s play at the Aged Bowell started in warm sunshine and ended in cold and gloom, a lot like Middlesex’s hopes, really. For me it didn’t even start that well: they now want £8 to park on the gravel outside their soulless bowl of a ground and £21 to get in. In all honesty, I enjoy visits to Leicester, Derby and Northampton more.Still it was nice to see our boys tanned and fit from their week up north. Same side picked but a change in approach, as we took the option to bowl without tossing. So, as with last year’s game, we put them. Umpires were Tim Robinson and Seaxe Man’s old friend, Inside Edge Cowley, once of Hampshire, who was soon making himself busy scratching around at the crease and no-balling Finn two or three times. This did not help the over rate which, also as with last year’s game, was -2 after the first hour. To be fair, there had been a delay while Vince recovered after nearly being no-balled himself by Finn.By this time, Adams had been neatly taken at slip by Compo off the ageless Murts and Finn was finding pace and bounce from the Pavilion end. I should point out that my excellent company before lunch was provided by a man born and bred in Middlesex but who supports Hampshire, so I shall not name him. Kev texted to say his train was being diverted and was taking ageas.Murts also found the edge a couple of times more without anything carrying to slip but nothing suggested the case for bowling first was a strong one in the first hour or so. Harry and Toby came on and the run rate continued at rather too healthy a rate – a few half-volleys too many and bowling short tom Carberry is never the best plan. But out of the blue and after a couple of boundaries, Vince hacked Toby to Voges at slip. Stirlo came on, oozing cunning, and Hants lunched at 95-2 (29).At lunch my Hampshire-supporting friend and I met up with Kev, Chris Thomas and Rogers and Out. Kev mistook Toby, at long leg below us for Murts. “Hello Kev” he said and Toby waved back. Perhaps all of our seamers answer to the name of Kev or perhaps all of our players have been told to wave and quickly turn around whenever the real Kev haloos them. Looking back the period right after lunch was crucial. With Carberry on 46, he survived a big shout for caught behind off Murts, who during this period beat him quite a bit. Then, when he was on 60, Mala dropped him at slip off a pretty straightforward chance. Worse, this caused him an injury later said to be split webbing and he needed stitches. However, his substitute, Franklin soon after caught Smith off Toby, a rather harder and quicker chance.

The fourth wicket stand put on exactly 100 runs but, as if that damage wasn’t enough, Ollie, now substituting instead of Franklin, retrieved a ball from the boundary and threw it back in. I have to confess I was not watching that clearly but, sadly, neither was our captain. The ball hit him in the back of the head and he went out like a light. Worryingly, he did not move at all for quite some time and was eventually help off betweem two physios. He will take no further part in the match and I am sure we all wish him a speedy recovery.

So, we had lost two of our three captains this season and we had substitutes at first and second slip. I am not sure who was actually captain for the rest of the day – we all asked if a substitute was allowed to captain a side. Could that be enforced if it is a rule? Two hard chances went down, Dawson appearing to nudge one off the top of his handle very low to Simmo’s right (the luckless Finn) and Carberry smashing one back at Murts, who did well to avoid a further injury himself. This was all a bit too déjà vu – we had 10 men quite often early last year.

Carberry, the unluckiest cricketer of his era, eventually slashed Harry to Ollie at slip for an excellent ton and, after a further decent stand between Dawson and Wheater, we finally took a few wickets together, helped by the new ball. Despite 13 tight overs from Stirlo – he is doing a bit more than just helping the over rate by keeping it quiet – we were back on -2 by the end, having been at levels before the final hour. Over to you, Don.

There are no demons in this pitch – I am not sure why we bowled, to be honest – so our batsmen should also enjoy it out there. The trouble is, we might not have very many of them.