Whatmore Can I Say?

Today of all days we have a MTWD exclusive. Colin Graves as he is approaching the end of his ECB tenure. reveals his idea for T100 in light of recent events at these most challenging times.

 When first asked about social isolation he replied “I’m used it”. Just ask Tom Harrison Giles Clarke, Ian Whatmore, Andrew Strauss Alistair Cook and Kevin Pieterson.  He is most confident T100 will go ahead in June with various safety measures in place. Here goes; 

Rob Key and his staff will be employed in the commentary team. In line with Government regulations Key Workers are allowed to travel to work.  

 He explained he takes safety most seriously. Each player will be instructed to wear masks and latex gloves. They must distance themselves at least two meters from each other.  The keeper will be forced to stand back from the stumps even to spinners. There will only one umpire at square leg, where no fielders will be permitted close by.  In celebration of wickets players in no more in a group of 2 have to use elbows 2 metres apart.    After each over there will be a 20 seconds hand-washing break. Runs will be deducted if this is more than 20 seconds as the mothers and kids will get bored waiting. He has decreed for each player who reaches 19 runs they should raised their bat in acknowledgement of Covid.

The match will be played behind closed doors with Colin Graves the only spectator. He stated he would feel safe as he is used to getting the elbow and people distancing themselves from him.

To appeal to the target audience the matches will be streamed to the cartoon channel. Fans of Scooby Doo are in outrage of this unwanted competition. 

 When asked about the future of county cricket Mr Graves did not hold back. If you think this will continue you are living in a fool’s paradise.  I read MTWD your average age is 93 and you are all senile. I cannot allow such vulnerable people to gather together in these troubled times.  Excuse me I have to go I’m busy compiling my revised plan for one-day test cricket.             

 In November Ian Whatmore will take over picking up the pieces of this financial disaster, beyond belief.