The real Notes and Queries 10
By Notold pete
July 25 2008
This week sees the hundredth anniversary of the introduction of the Ford Model T. Although it was clearly designed after breakfast, why was it called the Model T?
If you could design a revolution in transport, what would you call it, why, and what colour would it be?
This
week is traditionally the biggest week in retail for barbeque
equipment, burgers, and hospital visits by slightly inebriated 50 year
olds with singed eybrows and burnt fingers. Why is eating outdoors so
popular?
What hitherto unbarbecued comestible will be the next to hit the top of the al fresco scorching stakes, and why?
“Feed
a cold and starve a fever” is a well-known phrase not used much at this
time of year. Why are colds hungry, why is a fever “filled to
satisfaction”?
What foods do colds prefer? How can you make a fever diet?
In the meantime, I'm off to consider the Notes and Queries. I won't come up with any answers but I will consider them!
Colds need to be fed by the following items. (I am a nurse so this is fact,):
Heinz tomato soup
Orange pop (either tango or fanta)
Thai sweet chilli crisps
Egg and Cress sandwiches
Marathon (Snickers to the yoof)
Fever's need a picture taken of themselves looking in the mirror, they should have a sad face. You then put this on the fever's fridge next to a picture of what they looked like aged 17. Once that unrealistic goal is set they will sign up to weight watchers for life and join a gym. Both items will be paid for by direct debit and not one calorie will be burnt and not one point will be counted but it's ok because you'll lose pounds and pounds and pounds yet barely notice.
No alcohol for January. I'm a dryathlete in aid of cancer research.
Dryathlon
The fever is the rebel. The tiresome, verging on evil revolting child. You're sure it has an eating disorder - if you give it food, it never thanks you and from the sounds emanating from the bathroom, you are sure it threw it straight back up. It's ungrateful. It makes you take time off work when you don't want to and you feel awful when you return. The fever makes you worry. It doesn't matter how many (or how much) drugs you give it, there's no effect. How much does it take when you are not there to have built up that sort of resistance?
[lowrence.com]
I've invented a mode of transport unknown to man.
Its call trainontime.
For those that can be bothered about the above comment - I like about 8 to 10% of males suffer from Red/Green colour deficiency. This means that Purple is not a distinct colour but just a shade of blue. I have an on-going argument with my daughter on this (she is of course a carrier)
There is also this little problem @Traffic light colours are confusing to some dichromats: there is insufficient apparent difference between the red and amber and sodium street lamps and the green can be confused with a grubby white lamp. This is a risk factor on a high-speed undulating road where angular cues can't be used. British Rail colour lamp signals use more easily identifiable colours: the red is really blood red, the amber is quite yellow and the green is a bluish colour. Sounds scary and indeed it has happened to me once or twice. I bet it is not an adequate defence should it cause an accident or cause a camera to go off!!
“Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”
Benjamin Franklin
Tetleys Block F E143
